


The Most Annoying

by Yemi Hikari (Yemi_Hikari)



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-14
Updated: 2008-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24890221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yemi_Hikari/pseuds/Yemi%20Hikari
Summary: Kimiko is trying to text her friends, who are discussing who the most annoying person is basically. Jack shows up and proves that he is in fact the most annoying person, unless you count...
Collections: Focus on Female Characters, Platonic Relationships





	The Most Annoying

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or Pokemon.

Kimiko was texting her two friends. They were practicing her only link to the outside world other then the gossip columns that filled the net data bases. Gossip columns didn't replace the news she could obtain about back home. Of course, her friends tended to gossip about Kimiko's life.

Today they were talking about the most annoying person they had ever met in their entire life, or it summed up to that. Her friends were talking about a boy whom they had happened to run into at school, which was ironic since they tended to find quite a few that they found annoying. Kimiko couldn't help but grin though, as there was no way that there was any more annoying then the boy she knew.

_The chat log read,_ _"Lilly501: This guy so came up to us in the lunch line and was trying to talk to us. … Maggie: He loaded down his tray with a bunch of food!… FireGrrlSparrow: So… I've seen some one load down their tray with a lot of food suddenly had to giggle as Clay found this an apt time for an afternoon snack. He had hauled out to the picnic table a huge tray of food. The food mostly consisted of beef products. Clay took his fork and knife and licked his chops in anticipation."_

She then had to also laugh as Dojo hurried forward and put his head on the table, looking wide eyed at the delicious food, at least to the green dragon and the Dragon of Earth. Clay had his mouth open to put a bit into his mouth. He stopped and smiled, taking a small plate and put some of his own food on it for the dragon. "That's such a Dojo."

 _"Lilly501: Oh, come on Kimiko, this guy had like a complete layer of sweets and junk food. … FireGrrlSparrow: Try a complete load of food piled on a foot to two feet high and mostly beef products. Clay eats that much.… Maggie: Goss! That guy has to be so fat!"_ Kimiko looked up at the Cowboy and raised an eyebrow. Clay was no fat, at least not that she could see. All that food came to end up being muscle, not fat. Dojo on the other hand was swelling up yet again from eating too much. She shook her head remembering that a certain some one had wanted to turn him into soup.

"Hey, Clay… do you think yourself… overweight?" Kimiko tried to say as delicately as possible.

She watched as one of his eyes suddenly twitched oddly and she worried she had said the wrong thing. He then tipped his hat politely at her. "Missy… you don't think I'm fat do you?"

"No…" Kimiko laughed. "It's all muscle."

"You aren't thinking you're overweight and doing one of those stupid thing girls do when they're insecure about their looks and refuse to eat or throw up their food?" Chase asked, concern in his voice.

"No…" Kimiko said, seeing the relief feel the cowboy's features. "I've never liked that skinny model look."

"Good… my sis tried that once… she couldn't do the whole not eating anything… foods to tempting in my family I have to admit. So, she tried the other thing…" Clay suddenly pushed his tray of food over to Dojo. "I've lost my appetite. Let's jut say it was gross and I'm glad it only lasted a day or two before Mama gave her a good whooping and lecture about it being the inside that counts, not the outside."

"You don't think that your sister's over weight do you?" Kimiko asked.

"Now, this doesn't ever leave yours… or Dojo's lips for that matter. My sister could stand to lose some weight, expesully if she wants to wear certain type of clothing. Even I know it isn't an issue of being big boned, but lack of exercise too. All she does is ride that blasted bike of hers and use that one Shen Gong Wu for flying."

"You know who's really fat?" Kimiko said, looking at Dojo.

"Such a Dojo…" Clay commented, seeing that Dojo had gobbled the entire plate of food.

"What?" Dojo asked.

_Kimiko continued to read the chat._ _"FireGrrlSparrow: No… Clay isn't fat… he's a cowboy and can toss a rampaging bull.… Maggie: Well then, he has an excuse for eating that 501: Cowboy… I won't go into that right now. I want to talk about that annoying boy at school… the one that followed us in the line."_

Kimiko blinked a couple of times. She couldn't believe that they were that fixated on this boy. She shook her head and continued to MSN her friends. She was glad that they preferred long hand to the short hand MSN script as she found the short hand to be annoying and rude, unless one had to say something quick. _"FireGrrlSparrow: All right, what did this guy do?… Lilly501: He flirted with me and the Mei… not to mention every girl that would be within a ten foot radius._ _…_ _Maggie: We didn't have to talk to him or even look him in the eye! :C"_

It was then that Raimundo came out of the Dojo and set up a board angled off a log. He stood on the board and pretended to be surfing the waves of some big tsunami, possibly caused by Omi, considering Omi was the Dragon of Water. This caused Kimiko to laugh under her breath.

Rai then hopped off the board and waved his hands in the air. He then placed his arms out, as if around the shoulders of two ladies. "Now wasn't that the most awesome wave action you've ever seen."

Clay waved and got Raimundo's attention and motioned him to look over at Kimiko. The girl was frowning at him and Rai could only smile sheepishly. "Oops… uhh… Kimiko and Kimiko… meet Kimiko?"

This caused Kimiko to raise her eyebrows her eyebrows. She suddenly grabbed a rock and chunked it at Rai in anger. "Hey, what was that for!"

"For having very fantasies about her partner," Clay commented, tipping his hat. "You should know better then to do that to a lady Rai."

"Lady! Kimiko's not lady!" Rai said, only to have Kimiko chunk another rock at him. "Oww!"

"Alright Rai, do I have to lasso you to a tree?" Clay commented.

_"FireGrrlSparrow: That couldn't be as bad as a guy who fantasizes about having the same girl on both arms.… Maggie: You mean like a twin?… FireGrrlSparrow: No, more like a more exact double of someone… Rai just did that… one on each arm…_ _…_ _Lilly501: OH… PLEASE tell me it wasn't Paris Hilton or Britney Spears! All the guys are fantasizing about them!… FireGrrlSparrow: I wish! …_ _M_ _aggie: What could be worse then those two?… FireGrrlSparrow: It's only 'worse' for me… and I'd rather not talk about it."_

It was then that Kimiko looked up and saw that Clay had Raimundo in a strangle hold. "I won't put up with you treating Miss Kimiko like that!"

Kimiko just raised her eyebrows and frowned. One boy was annoying, but two was even more so… and add Dojo in… the dragon was seriously giving Rai a lecture. "Master Fung would say, being a Xiaolin Monk means to be honorable. And while you can fight girls in a Showdown, you can't disrespect them."

"Yeah… tell that to Clay," Rai then went and imitated Clay's voice. "One must never hit a lady partner."

"Why you little…" Clay said, squeezing Rai tighter.

"Stop it!" Kimiko said, suddenly glaring at the two boys.

"See… Kimiko didn't care!" Raimundo commented, dusting himself off.

"Oh… I did care Rai," Kimiko said in a voice that made Rai jump. "I just didn't want to see Clay get in trouble."

"Fare enough," Clay said, tipping his hat at her.

 _"Lilly501: Anyways, this guy suddenly became egotistical and bragged about he was the greatest stud magnet ever.… FireGrrlSparrow: I know of someone… except it is the greatest ever… he's rather naïve though about how the world works.… Maggie: Ahh… that Omi kid?"_ It was at the moment that a big yellow face with big eyes stuck itself in front of hers, with a big grin on it. "Hello Kimiko!"

"Hi Omi," Kimiko said dryly. "What do you want?"

"Goo Zombies! Please!" Kimiko sighed and nodded her head. "You know where it is… are you sure you don't want to try a new game?"

"No!" Omi said. "I love Goo Zombies!"

Kimiko watched as Omi hurried off and soon came back with the game system.

 _"FireGrrlSparrow: Yeah… that's who… he's borrowing my Goo Zombies game… Lilly501: Uhh… that that went and 'sat' with us… he wanted to borrow that game.… Maggie: I think he has a crush on you and was trying to find a way to ask you out… he's crazy and insane."_ All of a sudden out of nowhere Jack came down from the sky, laughing maniacally as he did so. "I got a Shen Gong Wu before it activated."

"How did you do that?" Omi asked.

"It happened near my house," Jack grinned his really not so evil, evil grin. He showed them a brush. "Introducing the Brush of Dimensions!"

_"FireGrrlSparrow: And the truly insane one just showed up… Jack.… Lilly501: Oh, come on, he couldn't be more insane then the guy we met.… Maggie: Yeah, Kimiko… there is no way!"_

"In other words…" Rai folded his arms together. "You accidently found it before it became active and only know its name…"

"Oh, contraire! I know how to use it!" Jack said, pulling out a piece of paper. Jack then began to trace an image with a paintbrush. When he finished, he held it out. " Brush of Dimensions!"

The creature on the page popped out and landed at Jack's feet. While Jack maniacally laughed, the creature made an odd sound. "Bidoof, Bidoof."

Clay raised an eyebrow, having not played the Pokémon games. "What is that thing?"

Omi walked over, holding the game system. He looked at the little brown creature with curiosity. "Is it some sort of dog?"

Jack grinned his maniacally. "It's a mutated squirrel!"

Omi suddenly ran shacking to hide behind the Brazilian boy. Rai folded his arms and scowled at Jack. "That's a Bidoof, a Pokémon based off a beaver, not a squirrel."

_"FireGrrlSparrow: Now he's done it… he told a little kid who's afraid of squirrels that Bidoof from Pokémon is a mutated form of squirrel. … Lily501: What a jerk! Everyone knows Bidoof is based off of a beaver. Please tell me someone told the kid that?… FireGrrlSparrow: Someone did…"_

"Oh… well, it's cute… and soft looking…" Omi commented.

"Well, Rai's wrong… it's a mutated squirrel!" Jack pointed at Omi. "Get him!"

Suddenly the Bidoof was chasing after Omi and the two were running around the temple, Omi screaming his head off. Kimiko raised her eyebrows. "He lied… Rai was right Bidoof is based off beavers."

"Oh!" Omi said, the Bidoof crashing into him from behind.

"Thank you for ruining my fun!" Jack snapped at her. "Anyways… Bidoof is the coolest Pokémon ever!"

_"FireGrrlSparrow: Jack just said the person was wrong.… Maggie: I don't like Jack… FireGrrlSparrow: That's the whole point… he likes being evil.… Lilly501: Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!… FireGrrlSparrow: Oh, and he things Bidoof is cool… Lilly501: What! That Pokémon is so annoying!… Maggie: Yeah! It pops up in the game when you least want it too.… FireGrrlSparrow: That describes Jack very well…"_

"May I have a Pokémon?" Omi asked Jack, causing the other three Xiaolin Monks to have their eyes twitch.

"Well, I need somebody to Pokémon battle with," Jack commented, that lame grin on his face.

"Ohh… is that like a Xiaolin Showdown?" Omi asked, his eyes going wide.

"Well, yeah… " Jack began to trace something on another piece of paper. "It's very much like a Xiaolin Showdown. Brush of Dimensions!"

Off of Jack's paper popped an orange-yellow fish. Omi's eyes went wide. "Oh… I have to put him in the water!"

The Rai and Kimiko glared at Jack, while Omi scooped his _fish_ and ran off glared at Jack. He shrugged his shoulders at them. "What's the big deal?"

"You gave him a Magikarp," Kimiko said, narrowing her eyes at him. "Everyone knows that Magikarp aren't worth beans until they evolve!"

"So… I want to win something.." Jack said, his evil, not to mention stupid grin still there.

_"Maggie: Wow… that's bad… FireGrrlSparrow: And he's jut challenged Omi to a Pokémon Battle… Magikarp vs. Bidoof.… Lilly501: That guy is such a Jerk!… Jackizevl!: Hi! Whaz u doin?… FireGrrlSparrow: Jack, get lost!… Maggie: What does he think he's doing?… Jackizevl!: I hak system! I AWSUME!… Lilly501: Kimiko, is this some sort of joke?… Jackizevl!: I will win! I will rul the wrld! HAHAHAHAHAHA!… FireGrrlSparrow: Jack, you aren't invited… do you want me to cause you major bodily harm?… Jackizevl!: Meenie!… Maggie: Uhh… see you later Kimiko… Jackizevl!: *v* hee! :)… Lilly501: Yeah… see you"_

"Jack!" Kimiko snapped at the boy.

However, Omi then called them to come and look at his new fish friend. They found that he had placed the fish into the temple fountain. Rai raised an eyebrow. "The water didn't change color?"

"It is waterproof ink," Dojo said, shaking his head.

"Duh!" Jack said. "I mean it is a Shen Gong Wu… to bad there is a limited amount of times you can use it and certain things it doesn't do… anyways, Bidoof! Attack!"

Suddenly, Jack's Bidoof launched itself at the Magikarp in the fountain. Omi suddenly blurted out. "Magikarp, tackle that Bidoof!"

Jack was surprised as his Bidoof went flying and was knocked unconscious. Jack's lip began to quiver and he went and grabbed his Bidoof. "Don't think that this is the last time you'll see me!"

"You shouldn't have said it was like a Xiaolin Showdown," Rai laughed. "It guaranteed that you would lose."

"What is going on here?" Master Fung said.

Omi had pulled the Magikarp out of the fountain and was hiding it in his shirt, a big goofy grin on his face. His shirt was soaking wet. "Nothing!"

"I see…" the man said, then walked off.

"Changing Chopsticks?" Rai asked.

"Changing Chopsticks," the others repeated.


End file.
